if wishes were pennies
by Kay the Cricketed
Summary: Four ways that Max could have learned that Ash and Eiji were more than friends (and one way that he did). Spoilers for entire series.


**1\. The nosy neighbor and how to have a gay son.**

"Oh shit," Ash said.

Max glanced up from the menu of the tastefully decorated café and frowned. "What is it? A cop? Dino's men?" He craned his neck to look around the booth. "What's—"

"Mrs. Coleman." Ash had gone a strange shade of pale. "Goddamn it. No, don't look at her. Just stare down at the table. Maybe she'll go blind for two seconds or have her purse stolen."

Max obeyed and trained his gaze back on the tabletop, ignoring a swell of irritation. "Who the hell is Mrs. Coleman?"

"Our _neighbor_ ," Ash spat out. "She just _loves_ us, you know. The fucking old hag."

"You know, my generation was taught to respect my elders."

"She keeps giving us the worst pie known to mankind and asked Eiji to teach her the Japanese tea ceremony. He's _always_ over there, chatting her up. It's disturbing as hell and I—well, hello there, Mrs. Coleman!" Ash smiled brightly, showing all his pearly whites. Max coughed and looked up. Mrs. Coleman was about half his height, a quarter of his weight, and his first impression was of a very old and badly stored mushroom.

"Why, I never thought I'd see you here, dear!" She sounded like a very old and badly stored mushroom, as well. Max could see why Eiji liked her. "And with this man—" Her eyes slid over to Max, something chilly about her smile making him shrink back. "Just who is this man, then, dear?"

Ash was still grinning impossibly wide. It was beginning to look like it hurt. "This is my dad, Mrs. Coleman."

"Oh!" The chill disappeared. "How wonderful! A father and son luncheon. Of course. I'm surprised your Eiji isn't here, as well. Last I saw him, he was in the grocery mart downstairs, picking up dinner." The disapproval in her voice made Max fidget. He was starting to get the feeling he really didn't want to be here right now.

Ash beamed at her. "Yeah, he's great, right? I asked if he wanted to come, but he said he'd give Dad and me a little time alone, right? Right, Dad?"

"Right," Max said weakly.

"Oh good, he's such a sweet boy. And I think it's very good of you, sir, to continue welcoming your son and his lifestyle with such open arms." She patted Max's shoulder, a distinctly threatening move if he thought so himself. "Most parents don't see eye to eye on such things with their children, but I find it admirable that you can welcome dear Eiji into your life so warmly."

"Um." And what did he say to that? "Thanks. I like the kid."

Ash was beginning to twitch a bit.

"You tell your son to spend the proper amount of time with him, now," Mrs. Coleman lectured Max, shaking her wizened finger at him. "He's always off at strange times. Granted, Eiji says he works hard, but that's no reason to be neglecting the family, you know."

Max was utterly lost. "Uh. Okay."

"And tell him to do Eiji right and make an honest man out of himself—"

"Mrs. Coleman!" Ash's voice had never, in all of Max's time, sounded quite that high pitched. "Mrs. Coleman, Dad tells me this stuff all the time. Please. Thank you for your concern, but you're preaching to the choir, so to speak."

"Well," Mrs. Coleman said, looking slightly put out. "That's good, then. At least someone's trying to talk some sense into you, dear." She patted Ash's arm absentmindedly, not noticing the blemish of colors that appeared over his face. "It's good to meet you, sir, and I'll be seeing more of you, dear."

With that, she was gone. As soon as her tiny body turned the corner, Max looked back at Ash and stared. And stared some more.

"Don't ask," Ash muttered.

"What the hell was she—"

"She thinks we're _gay_ , Max."

" _What?!_ You…" Max began coughing on air. Ash glared at him sullenly until he regained control. "You're kidding, right?"

"She keeps trying to convince me to marry him, regardless of the fact it's impossible. It's creepy how invested she is in this."

"You're _gay_?"

"I am _not_."

"But you and Eiji—" Max began uncomfortably.

"She's just a crazy old bat!" Ash was looking exceedingly flushed. "Shut the hell up, old man! Do I make unfounded accusations about you?"

"All the time."

"Stuff it or I'll kill you for real this time."

"Fine."

"Thank you."

There was a long silence in which Max very carefully resumed studying the menu.

"So," he hedged, "does this mean I have to give you a revised version of The Talk?"

" _I will kill you with this spoon._ "

 **2\. The impossible or the truth?**

"I'm gay, Dad."

Max choked on his beer. "Excuse me?"

Across from him, Ash was carefully smoothing his napkin with a smile more akin to a shark than a human. The boy had too many damn teeth on him, Max thought in irritation as he wiped his chin. "Just what I said," Ash said, relishing the words. "I'm coming out to you."

"That's… nice. Aren't you taking this a little far?"

"No, I'm serious. I'm gay. I wanted to confess and get it over with because I've been having an affair with the Japanese houseboy you imported from Tokyo. He's very talented, by the way."

Max tried to smile and felt like he was grinding woodchips instead. "You're a real smartass, you know that?"

"Don't worry, the denial stage goes out quickly."

 **3\. Caught red handed… only without red hands.**

"Oh God!" Max shrieked, slamming the door shut. "I didn't need to see that! I did _not_ need to see that!"

"Shut up, old man!" Ash yelled from inside the bedroom. "That's why you should always knock!"

There was a silent emphatic wave of embarrassment from the other participant in the room that Max could feel mingling with his own.

"I swear to God, if you don't get—get dressed and come out here, right now—!"

"Ten minutes!" And then: "Hey, wait, where are you going, Eiji? Eiji?"

"Oh God," Max whimpered.

His second thought was how he was going to explain this to Ibe.

 **4\. In another world, in another time.**

They were all seated around the table over Christmas and maybe it was the weird candles Jessica put all over the place, but Max had the feeling something had completely changed.

At first, he thought maybe it was something small, like a haircut or the cranberry sauce he'd forgotten to buy tonight, much to Jessica's ire. He studied the people he'd considered his family for several years now, but nothing came immediately. Michael was sporting his new sweater from his grandmother, but Max had already gotten used to seeing the ugly thing. Ibe was hushing Akira from her high chair, ruffling her hair every so often to keep her giggling. She kept trying to reach for Eiji, who—and Max studied him extra carefully, remembering the last time he'd blanked out on when Eiji had sprained an ankle and everyone knew except him—seemed just as bright and bushy-tailed as usual. The kid was almost radiating happiness. So much that even Ash, across from the table where he was joking with Michael about some weird cartoon show, was reflecting the glow back.

Max frowned and took another sip of the cheap wine he'd bought. Ash's good stuff would be brought out later, after hours.

It looked the same. The dumb jokes were the same. The kid was the same, if a bit bigger. Ibe looked tired, but also relaxed. Jessica was beautiful as usual. Ash and Eiji were—

Max put down his glass and glanced them over again.

"Do you need any help in the kitchen?" Eiji asked Jessica, smiling warmly. His English, much aided through years of practice, was soft and steady.

"You stay in your chair, honey," his wife scolded.

"Don't let him near it, he's already turning _our_ kitchen into a disaster area for tomorrow," Ash said. "He's got the entire gang coming over."

"It will be like old times!"

"Not exactly," Ash insisted, but he was grinning. So was Eiji. At each other, sort of dopey and stupid, which Max was used to on Eiji but not so much on Ash, at least not in public, and the way the candlelight sort of blurred their faces and the odd thing in their eyes that had always been there but was now, somehow, magnified—

He took another sip of wine and grinned to himself.

Well. It was about damn time.

 **5\. Too little, too late.**

The first time Max saw Eiji Okumura after Ash's death, he didn't say for very long. Some part of Max couldn't understand why the kid had bothered coming back to America—there was nothing anymore for him here, just reminders. But the other part of Max understood and that was the part that embraced Eiji tightly, welcomed him home, sat him at the dinner table with Jessica and Michael and tried to let him know that he wasn't alone, even if he actually was.

Eiji made all the right sounds, all the right expressions. It was the work of a master. Max wouldn't have known anything was wrong if it weren't for the slightest tremble of Eiji's fingers around the coffee mug; they looked pale, sickly, just like the rest of him. What should have been a full recovery from the gunshot wound had been lengthened into an exhausting battle, tugging him downward into a mess of physical and mental strain. Even now, Max wondered if it was safe for Eiji to be here. There was something broken about him, even now.

It was Jessica that convinced Eiji to stay the night rather than drive to his empty hotel room.

"We've got the room," she said quietly, hands folding over Eiji's shoulders, a touch meant for panicking animals. Max didn't think it was required. Eiji looked like a deadweight, all heavy and altogether too real in his chair. "It's fine with us. We're more than happy to have you stay for as long as you'd like, kiddo."

"Thank you." Even the noises Eiji made sounded heavy. "I greatly appreciate."

They set him up with blankets and pajamas (too big, Max's shirt falling over his knuckles, swallowing his feet, just a kid still no matter what), left him in the guestroom with the old fashioned lamp Jessica's mother gave them that they both hated. When they left him, Eiji was sitting on the bed, looking lost.

"You gonna be okay?" Max asked, knowing the answer somehow.

Eiji smiled then; but it wasn't Eiji's smile, just a terrifying and meaningless stretch of muscles and skin. "Thank you, Max."

"Of course. You're family, kid."

"Max," Eiji said.

"Yeah?"

He was silent for a moment, but then he told Max, "It does not seem fair. It was only two years. Two years. But it was—" He stopped then, but Max heard the rest. _It was my entire life._

His entire chest was one big ache. Max blinked a bit, hand clenching around the doorframe, and said, "I don't know, Ei- _chan_. It wasn't fair at all."

When Eiji didn't reply, Max slowly closed the door.

Back in his bedroom, Jessica was there, warm and wet from her shower and smelling like lilac soap. He took her in his arms and kissed her, desperately chasing the image of a dark and cold room away, trying not to wonder whether Eiji had ever chased away those same images in someone else's arms, skin pressing to skin, feeling like his heart had been ripped away and would never return. He tried to imagine Jessica just gone, and the nightmares that came throughout the evening were harsh, bleak things that captured him even with Jessica's breath hitting his neck.

When they woke, Eiji had made breakfast and was watching the gray approach of dawn.


End file.
